American Pie

PixiStixGirl · Tue, 24 Jul 2001 08:42:52 -0700

I haven't come up with a new title for this (any
suggestions?), but this is the latest product of my complete and
utter boredom at work. Any named people are lampooned
in fun.

*Jessie*

A Long, long time
ago,
When I was in high school,
The questions were much
easier.
And I knew if I'd studied well
That I could get
them here in hell
And maybe get some tossups for a
while.

But I did not have time for lists
Or money to buy
a Benet's.
Negs piled up in my stats.
I
couldn't get one tossup.
I can't remember what I
did
The day I negged with that _El Cid_,
But something
said they'd soon get rid
Of this young freshman
guy.

Chorus: So my, my, look at this little guy.
 He tries
to play with the big names, but he doesn't know
"pi".
 The only time he doesn't neg is when he has a
bye.
 He says, "I wish I could just get a tie."
 "I
wish I could just get a tie."

Did you write the
format rules
And do you enter in all the pools
For
who wins ACF?
Now, do you believe in CBI
Or do
you just wish that it would die
Along with
recognition refs?

Now, though I'm part of the chat
room,
All that it does is spell the doom
Of my chances
for As
'Cause I'm in there seven days
A week. I
know the chat room is where I must go
To say
"Biscuit Chip Beall. Bad no."
But I am not yet a craque
ho,
I'm just some freshman guy.

Chorus

Now,
for 5 years, we have had DSHIT
And for those years
we have had the TIT,
Where Yaphe plays against
John Nam.
Now we've got readers such as Tom
And
we've got platypi and Dom
But someone set us up the
bomb.

For while Yaphe was looking down,
The house team
won that Terrapin crown.
People were not
amused
At the packet that was used.
They complained on
the qb list
Against requests for them to
desist
And threats to meet with someone's fist
>From a
young freshman guy.

Chorus

Tossups 'bout
M*A*S*H when we play at TRASH.
Play in Vegas, try to
win cash
If we haven't had to much booze.
Other
tournaments, you can choose
To lame all those boni on
blues
In hopes of getting something you can
use.

Now, I would like to lame "Rocky"
Or antebellum
hockey
But I still like to play
Ooh, at TRASH for those
two days.
James Dinan's belt became a
prize,
With Flutie Flakes for other guys,
But I got
nothing. Though I tried,
I'm just some freshman
guy.

Chorus

And then we were all at the PACE,
The first of
which was held at Case,
With Saxton playing on a
team.
So now Saxton is Trustee and Host
And afterwards
we had a toast
To celebrate a successful
NSC.

And as we watched Tom on the stage,
We saw that he
forgot to gague
How hot those peppers are
And that
all water was far.
A player dressed up as a
nun,
Craig and Mike had their Board O'Fun,
State College
for the fourth time won 
With next year's freshman
guys.

Chorus

I met a girl from Chick-ago
And I asked her,
"Are there decent beaux?"
But she just smiled and
turned away.
I saw nacutie's page,
Where she plays
qb's dating sage
And says some people just
shouldn't get play.

When she said that, the girls
agreed
That some qb guys should not breed.
The guys said
they were wrong,
While picturing them in
thongs.
But the guys to be avoided most,
Who once made all
those asshole posts,
They made their most stupid
boasts
When they were freshman guys.

Chorus 2x