First, before the results, here are all of the answers to the questions I probably could answer from this week's Artaud, sung to the tune of John Cage's "4:33": Here are the final results of the Third Annual Montgomery Burns Tournament for Outstanding Achievement in the Area of Popular Culture, the longest running singles trash tournament outside of the minds of some students of Duke University. 1. Dwight Kidder 2. Craig Barker 3. Greg Sorenson 4. Mark Coen 5. Haggai Elitzur 6. James Quintong 7. Tim Young 8. Dave Murphy 9. Brian Hight 10. Tim Neuburger 11. Armen Terjimanian 12. Mike Burger 13. Doug Grote 14. Carey Clevenger 15. David Thorsley 16. Chris Rosenberg 17. Dave Wallace 18. Brian Saxton 19. Rob Long As you can see, I am slowly turning into an idiot. Stay tuned next year when I probably finish last. Grand prize was an official National Indoor Football League football, while runners-up received the following board games (I can't remember which person took which): Airlines (in German), Murder She Wrote, GoBots and Profit Farming. Following the split round-robin and the playoff games, an all-star game was played in the format of the Weakest Link. Here are the results of that activity: 8. Tim Young, voted off with 3 votes 7. Doug Grote, 2 6. Greg Sorenson, 5 5. Mark Coen, 3 4. James Quintong, 2 3. Craig Barker, 1 2. Haggai Elitzur 1. Dwight Kidder Dwight took home 80 cents of the possible $40. The remaning contestants left with nothing. I would like to profusely thank the following people who gave up their Saturday to indulge my tournament fantasies: Anne Mitchell -- she also wrote the tie-breaker packet used in 5 games Kevin Olmstead David Bykowski Allison Manzuk Lori (soon to be Murphy) Steve Traicoff Noel Erinjeri Adam Kemezis Ben Heller Emily Moore Mitchell Szczepanczyk Brandy Shattuck Just remember, we are just a mere 22 weeks away from Ann B. Davis VII in January and a mere 51.5 weeks away from Burns IV. I hope everybody had a good time and had as much fun as I did, although I seem to be slowly turning into an idiot based on my rapidly falling finishes (4th-9th-12th).
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