"What did you do over break, Adam?" "Well, I watched _Topsy-Turvy_ once and got this damn-fool idea in my head that it'd be cool to write a parody of the Major-General's song from _The Pirates Of Penzance_." "How does it go?" "I'm glad you asked." Captain: I am the very model of a college bowl competitor, I can answer questions whether free or bound by a fetter. My knowledge of the canon quite alarms the teams that I oppose; I know authors poetical as well as those of works of prose. I've read the books of reference; I've memorized my thick Benet's. I'll tell you who ruled any land from antiquity to nowadays. I never come to matches stoned and rarely act a bit tipsy; For fun I sometimes stoop to even writing stupid parody! Team: For fun he sometimes stoops to even writing stupid parody. For fun he sometimes stoops to even writing stupid parody. For fun he sometimes stoops to even writing stupid parody. Captain: With power in effect I nearly always score most mightily In tournaments, that is to say, by NAQT, LLC. On questions ranging from obscure to matters rather commoner I am the very model of a college bowl competitor! Team: On questions ranging from obscure to matters rather commoner He is the very model of a college bowl competitor. "That's pretty phat, Adam." <if by "phat" you mean "disturbing" . . .> "Thanks! See you at Elvis!" "Yeah. Bye." "Bye! Have fun!"
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